The mental health system is broken and i’m trying to figure it out.


        Depression has been a part of my life as long as I can remember. It’s been over 20 years since my first diagnosis. Within that time I've seen numerous therapist and counselors, tried different combinations of medications, been hospitalized twice (once in 7th grade and again in my last year of grad school) gained some really good friends and lost some in the process. I’ll keep the details to a minimum as they can be triggers for other people reading this. I can say that as far as today, there is a stat I am very proud of, I am 100% in getting through some of the worst storms of my life. I’m sure anyone who has been there understand how rewarding that one perception can make you feel!

    I hate to say I’m fighting depression since trying to control it is about as effective as trying to sprint on ice... in flippers. What seems to help is thinking about dancing with it. I’ve developed a respect for the so called monster lurking inside and have learned that being aware of the small symptoms is the first step in knowing the next step in the dance.

    I’m telling this side of my story because there have been lots of times I didn't think I’d still be around. There have been times I thought I was the only one feeling the way I felt and thinking the things I thought. What I've come to realize is that there are over 120 million people with depression world wide with 80% not receiving treatment. From my experience, depressed people don’t like to talk about their depression which prevents them from getting help.

    I hope to be an example that you can talk about your depression and it can lead to help. At the very least I want you to know that you are not alone and things can get better. The first step is trying something that you've never tried before because “Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again expecting different results” which is exactly what depression feels like.

I Started Making YouTube Videos In October Of 2012 Primarily about my journey as a professional pole vaulter. It took another 2 years to get the courage to talk about my depression. I can honestly say that they are the most rewarding videos i make, knowing they can aid in someones recovery.

I know what it's like to be in the middle of a depression storm. I'm always there if you need someone to chat to or if you just want someone to listen. Same hold true for people who need some advice on how to help someone they love get through the storm.


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